The Romaezis

Happy Not Birthday!

This post is coming a bit late.  Rather than apologize for that, I’ll just accept late blog posts as a standard these days and roll with it.

When the clock struck December 1st, I was overwhelmed with anxiety about the 1 year anniversary of being admitted to the hospital.  I’m sure it sounds slightly silly but Kayvan and I experienced a lot that day. I’ve spent most of the year pushing it all to the back of my mind, but as the day approached on the calendar, I found that task more and more impossible.  As we were experiencing everything that day last year, I felt as if I was doing everything with beer goggles on.  Slightly numb, slightly in shock and most certainly feeling like absolute crap.  This is all thanks to magnesium, of course.  I lived it, I had the conversations and it was all very real then but when I jump back into the memory now, sans magnesium (and beer goggles), the fear we lived is still pretty fresh, only now without the protection of being slightly in shock and with the added ability and time to over think.

Kayvan and I really have nothing to fear anymore.  The fear is gone but I’m still processing the whole experience.  I had to almost go into auto pilot to get through the hospital experience and well, auto pilot is no longer turned on and I’m free to over think.  I wanted to celebrate Kamran, our special little man.  So, I decided that we would embrace the day and dubbed 12/23 Kamran’s “not birthday”. 

Mr. Kamran woke up in a fantastic mood, and waved at me repetitively like he does to everything and everyone these days.

As with anything worth celebrating, Kamran got a not birthday present too!  I was so excited to give it to him because this would be the very first present he ever unwrapped.  He loved it!  Especially the part where he got to unwrap the present with his teeth.  Oh babies and their sensory processing ways!

Throughout the day I received lots of love.  This was oh so unexpected.  The day started out from an e-mail from a fellow former bed rest momma who lives in Canada.  It was so sweet, unexpected and both brought a smile to my face and tears to my eyes.  She totally gets everything I experienced because she went through something similar.  Later I got an e-mail from one of the L&D nurses who worked the sucky Christmas hours it took to make sure I stayed pregnant and didn’t have myself a Christmas baby.  Little did we know that she would be a fellow bed rest momma a few weeks later, so she gets it too.  A bit later in the day I answered a knock at the door, expecting it to be the contractor who was scheduled to work on our deck.  It was a man armed with flowers from the aforementioned former bed rest friend.  I was so surprised that it took all I had not to cry in front of this man.  I’m sure that would have made him really uncomfortable. Kamran’s twin-friends did a quick drive by later in the day with another not birthday present for him.  He absolutely loved their gift and part of hit has turned into one of his favorite things to crawl around with.  The blue cylinder from the shapes in a bucket toy (not sure how else to describe it).  A huge thank you to everyone who called, texted, stopped by with gifts, mailed surprises (or flowers) and sent e-mails.  It really meant a lot to me and made me feel a little less crazy for being slightly emotional that day.

No not birthday would be complete without a visit to the hospital to share goodies!  We took Kamran by to show him off and say hi to our nurses.  He LOVED all of the attention he got and absolutely hammed it up complete with big smiles to thank the ladies who got to listen to him every 4 hours. 

All in all, 12/23/2011 was amazing and leaps and bounds better than 12/23/2010.